You CAN Stop Comparing

If I can stop comparing myself to everybody else, then you can too! I'm not successful all the time with it, of course, but I really try.

Comparison can be a good thing when we use it to inspire ourselves to try new things or strive for improvement. But I'm talking about unhealthy comparisons - the kind that leave you feeling discouraged and inadequate.

It's so easy to think that that other mom is doing it all better than you, that other blogger is more successful, that other woman is a better wife to her husband, that other Christian is more faithful, and on it goes. Sometimes we overwhelm ourselves by worrying about how everybody else is doing it, rather than how we are doing it.

I wrote a post called Dare *Not* to Compare earlier this year which I think is helpful. {Funny - as I read through it again, I found it helpful for my own self!} We have to work a little harder now avoiding comparisons, with all the social media at our fingertips. I like my Muffin Fail post too, as it shows some of the failures behind the scenes of good recipes and pretty food pics. It's a good one to apply to life - you don't see the failures behind the scenes of what you're comparing yourself to.

Here's an example: You want your blog to be successful and big like that other blogger and you stress over it daily. What you forget is that the other blogger may be stressing out due to the extra responsibility, obligation, expense and more of a bigger blog. Bigger bloggers have days where they just wish they could be a relatively unknown blogger who could write a post without getting 50 e-mails telling them how they offended someone or got it wrong. When we compare by looking at only what we see on the outside, we aren't taking into account the inner trials that may be going on. Behind every pretty home decor pic is a messy junk drawer somewhere. :) So let's stop comparing!

Here's what I focus on to help me stop comparing:

• I am uniquely and wonderfully made. No other person has the same combination of talents, gifts, strengths, weaknesses, and faults as me. I can only compare me to...me.
• I can strive to improve and do better in all areas of my life. I will NEVER be perfect and that's OK. I don't need to be better than anyone else, just the best me I can be.
• I can ask God to help me stop comparing and start finding contentment. He always helps me out!

You CAN stop comparing! Really! Start today - don't worry about what somebody else is doing. Think about something that you're doing well {I promise - there's something!} and give yourself some praise. Think about something you'd like to do better {*not* because you're trying to do it just like so-and-so} and plan 1 baby step to take you in the right direction. Say a prayer for help in letting go of feelings of inadequacy.

I don't feel like I said any of this very eloquently {and I'm ok with that}, but I hope I got my point across. Also? You're awesome. :)

Do you struggle with making comparisons? Got any tips on how to stop making unhealthy comparisons? Share them in the comments!

Linking up with WFMW at We Are THAT Family.

Day 2 of #31Days. Find all the posts in this series by clicking here for my Anything I Can Do, You Can Do Too page.

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Have a blessed day friends!

Dare *Not* To Compare

There have been many wonderful posts written about making sure we aren't comparing ourselves to others in a way that makes us feel inferior, but I feel like it doesn't hurt to be reminded one more time. It used to be just magazines and television, but now with the internet at our fingertips all day long, it's so easy to be lured into thinking that we just aren't measuring up.

Thoughts enter our heads, like:

She's reading the Bible in 90 days? I can barely manage to read mine once a week.

I don't know how they get up so early every day - I can hardly get out of bed.

I wish I could be creative enough to decorate my house like that.

That dessert looks fabulous. My family is probably sad that I don't make fancy desserts.

Why can't I be successful at something? Nothing I do really matters or gets noticed.

I can tell you that Satan loves putting those thoughts into our heads. And the more we look around, the easier it is to believe in the negativity!

I just want to remind us all that everything, EVERYTHING we see on the internet is simply an edited snapshot - not a full picture of a life. Will you let that sink in for a minute? That gorgeous picture of the decorated living room isn't showing the overflowing closet or the struggles with misbehaving kids or the battle with depression. The successful 90-day Bible reader may have unsuccessfully tried the challenge 5 times before. The blogger with the amazing food photo might be heading through the McDonald's drive-through right now because there's not enough time to stop at home between activities.

If we remember to look upward instead of inward, we'll realize that we are successful - in the things that God wants us to be successful in {with His help} - even if it doesn't seem like it's ever noticed. We each have our own gifts in our own seasons and thankfully, we are unique! Why compare? Don't let blog challenges or Pinterest pics get you down - enjoy them, let them encourage you or give you a new idea to try, realize that maybe they don't match up with your season right now which is OK and move on.

These thoughts struck me a few months ago as I took a pic of a dessert {Pumpkin Pie Pudding with Maple Sugar Nuts & Cream -yum} for a guest post. Now, my pics are certainly not professional as I am far too lazy to do more than use my automatic camera in bad lighting and get a close enough shot that I don't need to bother editing in any way. But my goal is to make the food look good enough to make you want to try the recipe. Here's the pic:

 

When you see this pic, I want you to think: Oh yum, I want to try making that and I bet I can do it if she can do it! Or - Mmmm...pumpkin, that reminds me - I should make that pumpkin bread my family likes. Or - I have some similar dishes and maybe I can serve some fruit in them for dessert.

What I don't want you to think: Wow, she always makes such fancy desserts - I could never do that. Or - She puts everything together so nicely - my family is too chaotic to even try to present something like this. Etc. Don't. Really.

Because let's just zoom on back from that cute little photo:

 

See what I mean? I hope you get a good laugh or a sigh of relief from this pic. Why, WHY are we comparing ourselves to only one little piece of a much bigger puzzle? It just doesn't make sense. Let's stop and just cheer each other on for the little gifts or successes experienced in a day. Dare *not* to compare, my friends!

Please take a moment, close your eyes {OK, well you can finish reading this sentence first - LOL}, and think about something that you've done well this week or this month or this year. Virtually pat yourself on the back and thank the Lord for blessing you with that success and making you unique. Take a deep breath, find your smile, and go on with your day. You.are.awesome.

If you feel led to share your thoughts on comparisons or a success you've experienced, no matter how big or little - I'd love to hear it all in the comments!

This post gladly linked to:
 ~ Life In Bloom at Denise In Bloom
 ~ Thriving Thursdays at Serving Joyfully
 ~ The Weekend Brew at My Freshly Brewed Life

Thank you for stopping by and reading today! Have a blessed day friends!

P.S. Day 4 finished of my 22-post challenge {don't compare if you're having trouble blogging - use it as a little nudge to get you posting again even if it's just once a week}. Also - if you want to join in the blogging challenge for the rest of the month - you can post whatever number of times you want. I've added a linky to the original post. Link up your blog if you want to challenge yourself to increase your posts for April and let us come cheer you on!