Laugh With (Or At) Lisa ~ The Favored Child?

Well I think I'll get you to laugh today - either because you actually think I'm mildly amusing or because you are so glad that you haven't just made a complete fool out of yourself like the poor girl in this vlog! LOL!

I wanted to try a little "comedy" vlog for fun and that way I can link it up tomorrow for my friend Kim's Friday Funnies (unless of course it completely bombs which could very well be the case and then I will have to find Friday Fools to link up to!) **I'm not sure it's really funny enough, but Kim said to go ahead and link it up - I guess you can be the judge of whether it should be a Friday Funny or should have been a Friday Amusing To Some! :)

My sister claims that I'm the "Favored Child" but I think I can convince you that it's just not true. Hope you enjoy! You can also watch my video over at www.newbaby.com!

You think I have issues from my childhood? Why would you say that???

Happy Thursday! Come back tomorrow for Chocolate Friday and bring your chocolate posts to link up!!

Friday Funnies: How To Annoy People

Since I'm crazy double-posting girl this week, I'm not just doing Chocolate Friday. I'm also linking up to my friend Kim's Friday Funnies! You have to go over to Homesteader's Heart to get your laugh for today and link up your own funnies!

I'm sure you've seen these on the internet or on e-mail, but they always give me a good laugh!

25 Ways To Annoy People

1. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

2. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

3. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

4. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

5. Sniffle incessantly.

6. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

8. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

9. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

10. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

12. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

13. Drum on every available surface.

14. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

15. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

16. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."

17. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

18. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

19. Ask people what gender they are.

20. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.

21. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

22. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

23. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

24. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

25. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.


Just a few fun things for you to try over the weekend! :)

Have a fabulously funny Friday and head over to Homesteader's Heart!

Friday Funnies - on Saturday!

Since my friend Kim from Homesteaders Heart also "unplugged" yesterday, she's having Friday Funnies today. Since I am plugged back in with nothing going on, I can actually participate! Stop over at her place for lots more funnies and get some laughs for your weekend!

This was from an e-mail that I got. I was a child in the 70's and 80's, so I have seen the list of 70's items that are familiar to me. Now here's the list of items from the 80's that you might remember. It really makes me laugh because too many of them are true!

1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word SIKE.
2. You can sing the rap to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and can do the Carlton.
3. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey on Blossom.
4. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock".
5. It was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
6. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.
7. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
8. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.
9. You played the game "MASH"(Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House).
10. You wore stonewashed Jordache jean jackets and were proud of it.
11. You know the profound meaning of " WAX ON , WAX OFF".
12. You wanted to be a Goonie.
13. You ever wore fluorescent clothing. (some of us...head-to-toe)
14. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off and his cheeks shifted.
15. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
16. You took lunch boxes to school...and traded Garbage Pailkids in the schoolyard.
17. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.
18. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after every sentence.
19. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged handmade friendship bracelets.
21. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes.
22. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I?"
23. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up".
24. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.
25. You have ever played with a Skip-It.
26. You remember boom boxes and walking around with one on your shoulder like you were all that.
27. You remember watching both Gremlins movies.
28. You thought Doogie Howser/Samantha Micelli was hot.
29. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.
30. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool...and don't even flinch when people refer to them as "NKOTB"
31. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell," The ORIGINAL class.
32. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - SHOT THROUGH THE HEART.
33. You just sang those words to yourself.
34. You still sing "We are the World"
35. You tight rolled your jeans.
36. You owned a banana clip.
37. You remember "Where's the Beef?".
38. You used to (and probably still do) say "What you talkin' 'bout Willis?".
39. You're still singing shot through the heart in your head, aren't you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

How many are true for you? I think at least 28 of them are true for me. Do I dare admit to #30??

Hope you got a laugh or two from some of these memories! Have a great weekend!!

Friday Funnies ~ Thanksgiving Jokes

My friend Kim at Homesteader's Heart hosts Friday Funnies. It's always nice to get a few laughs in your day! She asked us to try to have Thanksgiving themed funnies today. I looked around and found a few short Thanksgiving jokes to share.


Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.

If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
Their AGE.

Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play.

What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
Plymouth Rock.

What did the turkey say before it was roasted?
Boy! I'm stuffed!

OK, so maybe those made you groan instead of laugh, but I'm sure you can find some kids who will really appreciate them! :)

Have a wonderful, blessed Thanksgiving!

Oh, and don't forget - you have until Sunday evening 11/23 to enter my doily giveaway!

Friday Funnies ~Stop This Conspiracy

Kim at Homesteaders Heart is hosting Friday Funnies - Go. Read. Laugh.

My sister e-mailed this to me a long time ago - funny!

THIS KIND OF STUFF HAS GOT TO STOP IN THE USA

We Must Stop This Immediately!

Have you noticed that Stairs are getting steeper. Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther away.. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?

I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognize me.

I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own refection.......Well, REALLY NOW- even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!

Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices that these things no longer fit around the waist, hips, thighs, and bosom?

The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank, but in reverse. Do they think I actually "believe" the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling?

I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in here!

All I can do is pass along this warning: We are under attack! Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities.

PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ALL YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!

PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size, because something has caused my computer's fonts to be smaller than they once were.

Friday Funnies ~ Only Women Understand

My friend Kim has Friday Funnies at her place - go get your laughs for the day!


Here is my contribution for today (not written by me):

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND

10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6 Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

AND, the Number One thing only women understand:

1. OTHER WOMEN


Sounds about right to me! :) Have a wonderful, blessed day!

Friday Funnies ~ One-Liners

My friend Kim at Homesteaders Heart hosts Friday Funnies - stop by and get a few laughs for your day!

I thought I would just share a few one-liners with you (I didn't make them up).

~ Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

~ Campers: Nature's way of feeding mosquitoes.

~ There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.

~ Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

~ Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?

~ Never judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes...for then, when you judge him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.

I hope you at least got a chuckle from one of those - I did! Have a happy day!

Don't forget to enter my giveaways - this one, that one, and the other. You have until Friday night to get entered.

Friday Funnies ~ Nonsense?

Finally, I managed to do a Friday Funnies post for my friend Kim at Homesteaders Heart! You better stop over there for some laughs. :)

Now, you might not find this quite as funny as I do. I happen to think my kid is very amusing...but I am just a little biased.

The other day, my son had to write a limerick for school. The first one he tried basically copied a nursery rhyme, so I suggested that he be more original and creative. His second attempt had him laughing so hard that he could hardly read it to me. It was total nonsense! It included things like Jupiter, tutus, buildings, nieces and phrases like "lava stew" - Ummm - do those go together?

I suggested that this particular limerick was quite silly and that I didn't know if it was being graded. Did he want to risk being marked down for nonsense? Yes, he absolutely did. Sigh...OK.

Later, he called out from his bedroom, "Mom, I fixed my limerick so now it makes sense!" A feeling of pride welled up in me as I thought of my son deciding to take my advice and taking it upon himself to redo all the lines of the limerick. He ran in with the "fixed" poem.

"See? I gave it a title: Senseless. Now it all makes sense!"

Okay kid...you won this round.

Maybe I'm the only one who finds his "fix" amusing. Just in case, here are some one-liners for you:

~ Never answer an anonymous letter.

~ I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

~ Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.

Happy Friday Funnies!