Monday, October 15, 2012

Will You Hold My Hand?

This post was actually written almost 6 months ago and sat in draft until now. I watched the (in)RL event in April of this year and was inspired to write this post the next day. I thought about submitting it as a guest post for (in)courage and I thought about publishing it on my blog. And instead I chickened out. I did the exact opposite of what I talk about in this very post. I didn't want to come across as too weak or too needy - that isn't me. I wanted to be a part of a community without actually *needing* that community. And so 6 months went by.

But today there is an opportunity to submit posts to read at the Allume Social Media Conference {which I will be attending} and I remembered this one. I wondered if there might be some way that I could submit an unpublished post. And I thought about publishing it here, but burying it and backdating it. And then I realized something. This wasn't about whether or not the post gets read at Allume - this was a nudge. A nudge to publish the post right here, right now, in God's timing. So here it is friends, from the heart. Thank you for reading and thank you for being here!

Holding Hands
Written April 29, 2012

Though I didn't have a meetup for the (in)RL event, I had just had a special lunch with sweet friends that Friday - the kind of friends who share their trials and their wisdom. I am blessed to have many friends like that. I do have real life community that's there for me when I need it.

Because I knew I wouldn't be at a meetup, I almost didn't register for (in)RL. But a special online friend helped me realize that I could still watch the videos on my own {and "with" her on Twitter!}. I'm SO glad I did that!  I was touched and moved by the stories and felt a kinship with these beautiful ladies who shared their hearts with us.

I expected all of that - would there be anything less from (in)courage? And I expected to cry. And I expected to eat chocolate. :) I did not expect the stirring in my soul. The kind where you feel God is preparing you for something, but you have NO idea what that something might be. I've had this feeling before - sometimes when new ideas come bubbling to the surface of my brain, or new opportunities or causes are presented - but I do my best to talk myself out of all of it. I convince myself that if God wanted me to do it - it would happen {in spite of myself}.

I do believe that - He is all powerful. But maybe when I stuff all those feelings back in to that little box in the corner of my heart, I'm taking the looong way round to what He wants instead of the shortest path. Maybe I need to ease up on my grip a little bit. If I really believe that God is in complete control, then why do I keep trying so hard to steer?

I can't see what's around the corner and that's hard for me. If God gives me a new idea or task to work on - I don't think I'm ready. Putting ideas into action is hard! It takes work - and I am lazy. It takes bravery - and I am scared. It takes reaching out - and I am staying in.

Can I ask you something? Something that I've never asked anybody because I am always trying to be in control? Will you hold my hand? Could we go around the corner together and face what might come - whether it be trial or triumph or simply more of the day-to-day? I think I need to take my tight grip off the wheel of life and hold one hand up to Jesus and the other hand out to you.

Blessings to you friends and may you experience the joys of community in your corner of the world! 

P.S. I almost chickened out again and didn't publish but I'm forcing myself to hit that button. :)

20 comments:

  1. Well I for one am glad you hit the button. I know how you feel my friend. Stepping out is hard, very hard. None of us like to be in an uncomfortable situation. I for one will be glad to hold your hand because then I know you have me as well.
    I love you my friend and I am SO glad that in this little corner we were able to meet not only in cyberspace but IRL as well. I treasure your friendship so much and look forward to one day meeting again.
    BIG BIG HUGS TONIGHT!

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    1. Thank you my friend! I treasure your friendship too! BIG HUGS BACK!!!

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  2. YES! YES! YES! As a matter of fact, I think you and I are in the same place. God has me in a holding pattern at the moment. He is cleansing me and preparing my heart. I am going to Allume despite my blogging break because I believe He is going to start speaking to my heart about the next step in my path. I'm completely clueless about what it is. But if you'll hold my hand, I will definitely hold yours. And together we'll see what God desires of us. I'm so excited to be rooming with you next week. I don't think it's an accident. I know God has something special planned. Can't wait to (((hug))) you in person after all these years!

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    1. I completely agree with you Alicia and can't wait to see you in just a few days!! Hugs!

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  3. YES!!!!!

    Oh my goodness, you're going to have to unglue me from you I'm so excited to FINALLY meet one of my first bloggy friends in real life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I am over the moon that you will be there. Finally.

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    1. Yes, I get to meet the famous Sarah Mae!! Woo Hoo!! So looking forward to it my friend! Thank you for your lovely comment! Hugs!

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  4. I'm so glad you didn't chicken out! :D I'm so excited to meet you!

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  5. So glad you published this! Great post and thanks for sharing your thoughts! I have so many insecurities swarming around in my head about Allume, but already God is blessing me through it. I can't wait to see what He has in store!

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    1. Oh me too, but I know it will all be good! It will be nice to meet you! Thanks for your comment! Hugs!

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  6. So glad you hit publish - community can make us brave, yes? I love this!

    ~Lisa-Jo

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  7. I am glad you shared that, Lisa. And how cool to get to go to the conference! Love you, dear friend!

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  8. I am scared and wanting to be in control too buuuuuuuut I WILL hold your hand :) Love you!

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  9. Lisa,
    Let me know how I can help you or anyone.
    Yes I will be here for you as you are for me.
    Yes, God is preparing us for greater things.
    Laura

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  10. What a lovely post Lisa! I've read it several times now, because it resonates so deeply in my own spirit. I too talk myself out of things that God is nudging me towards, and put myself and Him in that box. I'm so happy for you that you are releasing that lid and letting go! And how God is going to speak to you at Allume!
    So YES! I will hold your hand, and in turn you'll be holding mine! {wink}
    Blessings my friend!

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