Tuesday, October 1, 2013

You CAN Stop Comparing

If I can stop comparing myself to everybody else, then you can too! I'm not successful all the time with it, of course, but I really try.

Comparison can be a good thing when we use it to inspire ourselves to try new things or strive for improvement. But I'm talking about unhealthy comparisons - the kind that leave you feeling discouraged and inadequate.

It's so easy to think that that other mom is doing it all better than you, that other blogger is more successful, that other woman is a better wife to her husband, that other Christian is more faithful, and on it goes. Sometimes we overwhelm ourselves by worrying about how everybody else is doing it, rather than how we are doing it.

I wrote a post called Dare *Not* to Compare earlier this year which I think is helpful. {Funny - as I read through it again, I found it helpful for my own self!} We have to work a little harder now avoiding comparisons, with all the social media at our fingertips. I like my Muffin Fail post too, as it shows some of the failures behind the scenes of good recipes and pretty food pics. It's a good one to apply to life - you don't see the failures behind the scenes of what you're comparing yourself to.

Here's an example: You want your blog to be successful and big like that other blogger and you stress over it daily. What you forget is that the other blogger may be stressing out due to the extra responsibility, obligation, expense and more of a bigger blog. Bigger bloggers have days where they just wish they could be a relatively unknown blogger who could write a post without getting 50 e-mails telling them how they offended someone or got it wrong. When we compare by looking at only what we see on the outside, we aren't taking into account the inner trials that may be going on. Behind every pretty home decor pic is a messy junk drawer somewhere. :) So let's stop comparing!

Here's what I focus on to help me stop comparing:
  • I am uniquely and wonderfully made. No other person has the same combination of talents, gifts, strengths, weaknesses, and faults as me. I can only compare me to...me.
  • I can strive to improve and do better in all areas of my life. I will NEVER be perfect and that's OK. I don't need to be better than anyone else, just the best me I can be.
  • I can ask God to help me stop comparing and start finding contentment. He always helps me out!
You CAN stop comparing! Really! Start today - don't worry about what somebody else is doing. Think about something that you're doing well {I promise - there's something!} and give yourself some praise. Think about something you'd like to do better {*not* because you're trying to do it just like so-and-so} and plan 1 baby step to take you in the right direction. Say a prayer for help in letting go of feelings of inadequacy.

I don't feel like I said any of this very eloquently {and I'm ok with that}, but I hope I got my point across. Also? You're awesome. :)

Do you struggle with making comparisons? Got any tips on how to stop making unhealthy comparisons? Share them in the comments!

Linking up with WFMW at We Are THAT Family.

Day 2 of #31Days. Find all the posts in this series by clicking here for my Anything I Can Do, You Can Do Too page.

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Have a blessed day friends!


  1. Great post my friend. I think we've all struggled with that at some point of our lives. I know I went through a period in my blogging life that I was comparing my blog to others bigger and better than mine and it sucked the joy right out of writing. But when I finally let go of that and accepted my blog for what it is and how it is unique to me, I started enjoying myself again.

    Big if we were all alike it would be a boring world size hugs to you.

    1. So true and you are anything but boring my friend! LOL! :)

  2. I think you explained this very well. I've always found this hard. Maybe something to do with being the youngest in the family. I still have to work on it :)

    1. I think we are all working on it to one degree or another!

  3. I love your 31 day series title! It took me a long time to not negatively compare myself to others, always thinking everyone had their act together except me. I can think of one situation when it's good to compare though. For example, when I come across somebody who isn't driving the way I think they should (going to slow for the speed limit, going too fast for the speed limit, entering the freeway at a crawl, etc.) I try to compare the person to myself instead of getting irritated. I give them the grace that I would want other drivers to give me. So, I say, "Well maybe they're driving fast because they're on their way to the hospital," or "Maybe they're driving slow because they're lost."

    Anyway, you're right about each of us being uniquely made. If God wanted everyone to look, feel, and act the same, He could have stopped after Adam.

    1. Thank you so much! And awesome job giving grace to drivers - so many of us could use that tip!


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